Emmy’s Story – Rebel with a Cause

Emmy Hall, an Oregon teen, was 12 when her parents divorced. She and her mom moved to a new neighborhood. Looking back now, Emmy realizes how hurt, lonely and depressed she felt about the situation. She still remembers clearly the day a new friend she had made asked her if she had ever tried drinking alcohol. “I said ‘sure’ because I wanted to seem cool. That was when I had my first drink. That was when it all started.”

Even though she didn’t enjoy drinking at first, she kept it up to be part of the crowd and because it seemed to make her feel a little better about her situation. “I never thought that I could become an addict. I was 12. I had no idea what I was doing.”

Like most kids and adults who drink, Emmy made excuses that seemed to make it okay. Today, she’s concerned that many parents let their children drink at home, with the idea that at least they know where their kids are. “What they don’t realize,” says Emmy emphatically, “is that kids who start drinking when they’re underage like that are fifty percent more likely to become addicts. Their brains aren’t finished developing.  It just messes them all up.”

In Emmy’s case, drinking soon led to other things. “Every time I tried a new drug, it was because I was intoxicated,” she says. When asked how many drugs she tried, she replied “It would be easier to name one I didn’t.”  She started by experimenting with painkillers and “Skittles,” and later on switched to drugs like heroin, cocaine and meth.

The effects of Emmy’s abuse of drugs and alcohol soon showed up at school. She was kicked out of her public middle school several times and went to a private one for a while, but finally ended up in an alternative learning center for kids with problems. Before finishing 8th grade there, she hitchhiked to Portland, Oregon, with a friend. When the friend ditched her, she hitchhiked to Los Angeles by herself. She was officially a runaway—and a drug and alcohol addict.

“At one point, I weighed 86 pounds,” she says incredulously. “One day when I had no place to stay, no money and no food, I sent up a little prayer for those three things. I’m not sure what made me do it, but I went and turned myself in to the Los Angeles police as a runaway. I got what I had asked for—an 8 by 8 cell for shelter, food, and transportation back home to a detention center in Oregon. I stayed there for two weeks, thinking I’d get out and go back to my old ways. That was when my probation officer told me I was going to rehab.  The facility was way out in the middle of nowhere, and at first I just sulked. There was no escape, so I just told them what I knew they wanted to hear. I had a negative attitude, though. My heart wasn’t in it, and the only thing I could find to abuse was a pen. I managed to mutilate my arm with it.”

Emmy says she was at the rehab center for three months before she really began to work on her problem. “One day somebody said something funny, and I smiled. They were like, ‘What’s with her? She’s smiling.’” Her negative attitude had changed to a positive one. “After that, I began to join group activities and talk and work on my problem. Two months later, I graduated from the program and went to live with my dad. I stayed with him for a year and a half. Then I went to live with my mom.”

Today, at 18, Emmy is on schedule to graduate from high school on time. She’s been accepted at an art institute, but may go to community college for a year while she does a bit more thinking about which path to take in the future. She already works as a photographer and layout artist for a weekly newspaper section called Under 21, and also works with mentally disabled adults, a job that gives her a lot of satisfaction.

She feels badly about what she put her family through. “I totally took advantage of my mom,” she says, “but she is amazing. That’s all I can say. She knows how to make me see that I’m acting outrageous without making me feel bad about it. She’s a genius.” She worries about her little brother, now 13, and hopes he won’t get into the same kind of trouble she did.

Does Emmy consider herself “cured”? “No! I’m scared!” she groans. “I have to be really careful to stay away from stuff. I am an addict. It’s in my genes.” She is involved in an aftercare program called On Track, and that helps.

It also helps that she has friends who would like to kick their bad habits, and that Emmy can be an inspiration to them to do it. She says most kids don’t realize that after the high, they will get dropped into the lowest low they can imagine.

“Peer pressure works both ways,” she says. “I work with a CADCA coalition, and we have a thing we call ‘Take it Back.’  It’s like reverse peer pressure.”

Emmy said part of what helped her recover from drug addiction was joining a CADCA community coalition and getting involved in CADCA’s National Youth Leadership Initiative. Thanks to the program, she’s now a role model for other kids and is learning how to  prevent drug use in her community.

“You know, kids like to think that they’re rebelling against society. But if they drink and drug, they’re going along with the crowd. I say if you want to be a rebel, rebel against drugs and alcohol. I’m clean and sober, and I’m proud of it. And I am so happy now. That means so much. I can be happy without the drugs, without the alcohol. They didn’t make me happy.  They just made things worse.

Article is from the NIE tab, “Stay Smart, Don’t Start” produced by the Washington Times and distributed by the NIE Institute. 

Teen Drinking: Too Much, Too Soon, Too Risky

In recognition of Red Ribbon week, I’d like to share this NIE guide titled, “Teen Drinking:  Too Much, Too Soon, Too Risky” from the NIE Institute.  It looks at teens and alcohol, understanding alcohol, what’s in a drink, what happens when you drink, alcoholism and abuse and why teens drink.

Download the guide by clicking here:

Note: if you are going to print this pdf, make sure to adjust your print setting to “fit on page”. The pdf is bigger than 8.5 x 11 (normal print size.)

Cyberbullying and Spreading Rumors

Cyberbullying is one of the fastest growing, and most dangerous, kinds of bullying. Cyberbullying is defined as willful and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, cell phones and other electronic devices.

Recent research has shown that cyberbullying leads to negative emotions such as sadness, anger, frustration, embarrassment or fear all of which have been linked to delinquency and violence among students. It is also tied to low self-esteem, thoughts about suicide, school difficulties, substance use, carrying a weapon to school and traditional bullying and victimization.

Statistics show that 15-35 percent of students have been victims of cyberbullying. About 10-20 percent of students admit to cyberbullying others. Girls are just as likely, if not more likely, to be involved in cyberbullying as boys. Most victims of cyberbullying know, or think they know, who the cyberbully is. (From Bullying Beyond the Schoolyard: Preventing and Responding to Cyberbullying.)

Sometimes we forget that name-calling, teasing and harassing others really hurts, especially when a computer screen or cell phone separates the bully from the victim. It’s just as important for us to help each other and be upstanders online as it is for us to be upstanders at school and at home.

Here Are 5 Things You Can Do Today to Be an Upstander Online

1. Stop untrue or harmful messages from spreading. With blogs, Facebook and forums, it’s easy for a quiet comment or negative inside joke to spread FAST. If someone posts a rumor that is untrue, or shares a message that is hurtful and harmful, stop it before it goes viral. Don’t laugh or pass the message on. Stand up and let the person know it’s wrong.

2. Protect your personal information. The Internet is like a giant neighborhood, and has good and bad parts. Limit any private details you reveal about yourself to friends and family you know and trust. Remember that the Internet is a public forum, and anything you choose to share will become part of your online reputation. Do not share anything that could be used against you.

3. Practice being a role model to younger kids. Being safe online is serious, and we need to teach others who don’t always know what to do especially at a young age. Share your cyberbullying learning experiences with younger students. Mentor those who may not understand the scope of the Internet and convey why it’s essential to be socially responsible online.

4. Tell a friend, teacher or parent when you see cyberbullying behavior. If you see someone share a cruel message or post a harmful photograph, report the message or photograph online (to Facebook administrators, for example). Or at least tell someone you know what’s going on. When you tell an adult, you are helping someone who needs support.

5. Know the rules! Be aware of the DOs and DON’Ts for using cell phones, computers and other electronic devices in school and at home. Talk to teachers or with family members if you are unsure. Always check new sites with a trusted adult before signing up or connecting with others online.

LEARN WITH THE NEWS  Research the privacy and security policy of a well-known site you use (Facebook, YouTube, MySpace, etc.). What are the specifications? Do you think they protect users’ privacy enough? What would you add or take away? Summarize your findings and views in the form of an editorial or opinion column for the newspaper. Remember that editorials and opinion columns always support opinions with facts.

October is National Anti-Bullying Month. The information and activities featured today were taken from the Newspapers in Education supplement, “Stand Up To Bullying.”  The tab was created to help raise awareness about the harmful effects of bullying and draws from the prevention materials and supports offered by the BullyBust campaign of the National School Climate Center (NSCC).

Election Guide for Primary Grades

The study of elections can be a challenge, even for adults. With so much information in the media, a citizen can feel overwhelmed. Younger students can be effectively introduced to the elections through the newspaper using the following guide, “Election Primary.” 

This newspapers in education guide was written by Debbie Lerner and Eileen Bergman educators from Kansas City, Missouri. The guide was edited and published by Anne West, News Relief, Inc. and distributed by the NIE Institute.

The activities in this guide are designed to assist educators of primary students in providing ideas for using the newspaper with students in grades one through three.

Download the NIE “Election Primary” guide by clicking on the link below. http://legacy.grandforksherald.com/pdfs/ElectionPrimary1-3.pdf

Elections NIE Guide

We are bombarded with all kinds of election messages this time of year.  Vote for this person, vote for this measure, vote against that measure, etc.  This NIE Election Guide is designed to provide educators with activity ideas to focus on candidates, issues, resources and the elections process using the daily newspaper.   The 50-page guide was written by Ann West, nationally known newspapers in education consultant and president of News Relief, Inc.  and distributed by the NIE Institute.

Click on the the link below to download:

http://legacy.grandforksherald.com/pdfs/Elections.pdf

The Big Read

Don’t miss this educational opportunity!

As part of The Big Read Project, an exhibit of Vietnam era artifacts will open at the Grand Forks County Historical Society, 2405 Belmont Road in Grand Forks on Monday, October 18.   This is an excellent opportunity for students to see actual items used by American soldiers during the Vietnam conflict.  This includes uniforms, grenades, c-rations, purple heart medals, etc.  There is an actual army backpack like those carried by the American Soldiers that students can try on.  Photos taken during the war will be on display as well as the stories of individual soldiers.  Contact the Myra museum for tour days and times  (701)775-2216. 

Just what is The Big Read Project? 

Herald staff writer Paulette Tobin tells us in the following article published on August 14, 2010.

Coming Soon To Grand Forks: The Big Read, Author Tim O’Brien to visit Oct. 14-15

The Grand Forks Public Library has received a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts to host The Big Read in Grand Forks with activities from Oct. 14 through Nov. 15 including a visit from award-winning author and Minnesota native Tim O’Brien.

The Big Read in Grand Forks will focus on O’Brien’s book “The Things They Carried,” a fictionalized memoir of an infantry soldier as his platoon trudges through the jungles of Vietnam.

“We chose this book because of its potential appeal to those who may not have a habit of reading books for recreation,” Wendy Wendt, director of Grand Forks Public Library, said in a news release.

“We also thought the strong armed forces presence in the greater Grand Forks area would afford many community members a story in which they could identify – veterans, active-duty military and their family members.”

Also, the book may offer some small insight into the sacrifices made for this country by those who haven’t served in the military, she said.

“The Things They Carried” was a finalist for both the 1990Pulitzer Prize and the National Book Critics Circle Award, according to the book’s Amazon.com review.

“They carried all the emotional baggage of men who might die,” O’Brien wrote in the book “Grief, terror, love, longing… these were intangibles, but the intangibles had their own mass and specific gravity, they had tangible weight. They carried shameful memories. They carried the common secret of cowardice Men killed, and died, because they were embarrassed not to.”

Amazon.com calls the book a “sly, almost hallucinatory book that is neither memoir nor novel nor collection of short stories but rather an artful combination of all three.”

O’Brien, 63, was born in Austin, Minn., and grew up in Worthington, Minn. He graduated from Macalester College in 1968 with a Bachelor of Arts in political science and was drafted. He served in Vietnam and was assigned to the 3rd Platoon, A Company, 5th Battalion 46th Infantry Division, as a foot soldier. His tour of duty was 1969-70.

After Vietnam he became a graduate student at Harvard. He had the opportunity to do an internship at the Washington Post, and eventually left Harvard to become a newspaper reporter, according to his online biography. His career as a reporter gave way to his fiction writing after publication of “If I Die in a Combat Zone, Box Me Up and Send Me Home.” He now is a visiting professor and endowed chair at Southwest Texas State University where he teaches in the creative writing program.

Grand Forks Public Library is one of 75 not-for-profits including arts and cultural organizations, libraries and universities to receive a grant to host a Big Read project from September to June 2011. The Big Read gives communities the opportunity to come together to read, discuss and celebrate one of 31 selections from U.S. and world literature, according to a press release from the library.

Big Read community partners include Grand Force Air Force Base, the Grand Forks Public School District, Northland Community and Technical College and UND, which will bring O’Brien to Grand Forks on Oct. 14-15.

The Big Read is an initiative of the National Endowment for the Arts designed to restore reading to the center of American culture. The NEA presents The Big Read in partnership with the Institute of Museum and Library Services and in cooperation with Arts Midwest. For more information about The Big Read, please visit www.neabigread.org.

To download The Big Read brochure click on this link:   http://legacy.grandforksherald.com/pdfs/The%20Big%20Read%20brochure.pdf

10 Ways to be an Upstander

“The only way to stop bullying is if we all acknowledge that it is hurtful and wrong and vow to stand up for what is right.” Gabriela, 7th Grade Student

October is National Anti-Bullying Month. The information and activities featured today were taken from the Newspapers in Education supplement, “Stand Up To Bullying.”  The tab was created to help raise awareness about the harmful effects of bullying and draws from the prevention materials and supports offered by the BullyBust campaign of the National School Climate Center (NSCC).  This is part 4.

10 Ways to be an Upstander

1. Help others who are being bullied. Be a friend, even if this person is not yet your friend. Go over to them. Let them know how you think they are feeling. Walk with them. Help them to talk to an adult about what has happened. (Just think for a moment about how great this would be if someone did this for you when you were being picked on or hurt!)

2. Stop untrue or harmful messages from spreading. If someone tells you a rumor that you know is untrue or sends you a message that is hurtful to someone else, stand up and let the person know this is wrong. Think about how you would feel if someone spread an untrue rumor about you. Don’t laugh, send the message on to friends or add to the story. Make it clear that you do not think that kind of behavior is cool or funny.

3. Get friends involved. Let people know that you are an upstander and encourage them to be one, too. Bullies often target people who are alone. You and your friends can help prevent a bad situation by creating a group of support for the person being bullied.

4. Make friends outside of your circle. Eat lunch with someone who is alone. Show support for a person who is upset at school, by asking them what is wrong or bringing them to an adult who can help.

5. Be aware of the bullying policy at your school and keep it in mind when you witness bullying. If there isn’t a policy, get involved or ask teachers or front office staff to speak about how you can reduce bullying.

6. If someone is new at your school, make an effort to introduce them around and make them comfortable. Imagine how you would feel leaving your friends and coming to a new school.

7. Refuse to be a bystander.  If you see friends or classmates laughing along with a bully, tell them that they are contributing to the problem. Let them know that by laughing they are also bullying the victim.

8. Respect others’ differences and help others to respect differences. It’s cool for people to be different and that’s what makes all of us unique. Join a diversity club at school to help promote tolerance in your school.

9. Ask your teacher or principal to develop a bullying program or project that will help reduce bullying in school. Ask them to bring together a team of students, parents and teachers to meet as Stand Up Ambassadors to talk about bullying on a regular basis and share stories and support. Talk about the hot spots where bullying most likely occurs (the bus, bathroom, an unmonitored hallway) and what can be done on a school level to make sure students and teachers are on the same page about bullying.

10. Learn more about bullying. For example: Why do kids bully? Where does bullying take place most often in your school? What are the effectsof bullying? Why are people afraid to get involved? Understanding this information will help you if you are bullied and will help you to stand up to bullies if a friend or class-mate is being bullied.

Every day we have the opportunity to make our schools (and our world!) a better place. Putting an end to bullying is everyone’s responsibility. Read the Stand Up Pledge below to see how YOU can help today.

The Stand Up Pledge.

I will always:

Support those around me who are being bullied or victimized.

Tell a friend, teacher or parent when I see someone being bullied.

Ask myself, “How would I want to be treated?

Note where and when bullying occurs (bathroom, playground, online).

Do something when I see someone being bullied be an UPSTANDER.

Understand why bullies bully

Practice being a good role model for my fellow students and share STAND UP to Bullies strategies

Join thousands of students and adults from across the country by pledging your commitment to make a difference in your school and community. Sign the pledge today at: www.bullybust.org!

Goodridge, Minn. Visitors

These Goodridge, Minn. high school students and their teacher, Trista Lund, are pictured outside of the downtown Grand Forks Herald building on Oct. 8.  They came to the Herald to learn about newspapers.  We had a great visit and they had a lot of good questions.  We look forward to reading their school newspaper!

What you can do to stop bullying

Everyone that is a victim of bullying deserves that chance to break all the walls that surround them and understand that they are special, even in a world of billions.

Nusrat, 6th Grade Student

October is National Anti-Bullying Month. The information and activities featured today were taken from the Newspapers in Education supplement, “Stand Up To Bullying.”  The tab was created to help raise awareness about the harmful effects of bullying and draws from the prevention materials and supports offered by the BullyBust campaign of the National School Climate Center (NSCC). This is part 3.

WHEN YOU’RE BEING BULLIED…

Being bullied is painful, but it is important to remember that you are not alone! Below are some tips on what you can do if you are being bullied.

Don’t ignore the situation. When you are being bullied, you naturally just want to make it all go away. As a result, some of us just keep everything inside or even avoid going to school! Sometimes the bully does stop and moves on to someone else, but this doesn’t always happen.

Always tell an adult you trust. Tell your parent, a trusted teacher, school counselor or another trusted adult about what’s happening. Share all of the details, and let them know how this made you feel. Ask them what to do next.

Keep in mind that no one deserves to be bullied. Bullies are not bad people, but they are doing bad things. Sometimes kids become bullies because they are bullied at home by their parents and are determined not to be bullied at school, so they bully others instead. Knowing this will help you understand that the bullying doesn’t have to do with you, but with the bully.

Never fight back, but let the bully know you are not an easy target. Stay calm, and tell the bully with confidence and determination to “Stop it,” and to “Leave me alone.”  Walk off with confidence.

Stand up to the bully if you feel “safe enough.”  This is sometimes easy to say and much harder to do! If you do feel safe enough, confront the bully by telling him or her how you feel, why you feel the way you do and what you want the bully to do. For example, “I feel angry when you call me names because I have a real name. I want you to start calling me by my real name.”

Do not respond directly to the bully’s teasing.  Sometimes we just feel too scared to respond. Not responding is actually another good strategy that we can use when we are being bullied. To the best of your ability, just walk away!  This is also an important tip to remember when dealing with bullying online. Keep harmful messages from spreading by not responding, adding comments or sending them on to friends. (Again, it is important to let an adult know about this. When you are bullied online, printout a copy of the text or picture and show it to a grown-up.)

Don’t blame yourself! It is common for students to feel that they have somehow “caused” the bullying. Remind yourself that it’s not your fault and talk to a friend, adult in school or parent about the way you feel. Write down your good qualities and discuss them with your family, and use this list as a reminder if you start to blame yourself or feel down.

BE AN UPSTANDER

The best way to prevent bullying is to become an “upstander” to bullying (as opposed to a bystander who stands by and does nothing).  An upstander is someone who recognizes when something is wrong and acts to make it right. When an upstander sees or hears about someone being bullied, they speak up. Being an upstander is being a hero: We are standing up for what is right and doing our best to help support and protect someone who is being hurt. In many ways, this is another word for being socially responsible.

Find a story in today’s newspaper that shows a person, group or organization being an upstander. Use the definition in the previous paragraph as a guide and write a journal entry about why this story is a strong example of upstander behavior and who is benefiting from these positive actions.

WHEN YOU SEE SOMEONE ELSE BEING BULLIED…

Tell an adult you trust. Some kids think this is tattling or being a snitch, but it is not. When you tell an adult, you are helping someone else who needs support. Most adults really do want to know about bullying, and they want to help. If you tell a grown-up about this and they don’t respond, find another adult you trust and tell them. Many schools have programs to not only help prevent bullying, but to support people – kids and adults- standing up to bully behavior and saying “No, this is not an OK way to act!”

Roots of Bullying

“When you bully someone, think of the pain they go through every day. They might not even want to wake up, for they won’t want to go to school and get bullied. Remember, never hurt someone because it amuses you. And if you were bullied and do it now to others to get the pain out of you, it won’t release the pain. Two wrongs do not make a right.”            -Joel, 8th Grade Student

October is National Anti-Bullying Month. The information and activities featured today were taken from the Newspapers in Education supplement, “Stand Up To Bullying.”  The tab was created to help raise awareness about the harmful effects of bullying and draws from the prevention materials and supports offered by the BullyBust campaign of the National School Climate Center (NSCC). This is part 2.

Why Do People Bully Others?

There are lots of reasons that students bully. For example, students too often see adults being bullies. Sometimes, they think, if they are doing it, I will too!  Here are some other common reasons why students bully:
Students sometimes feel the need to bully so they can be accepted by a peer group(especially if others in that group also act as bullies).

When people feel bad about themselves, they sometimes believe bullying others will make them feel stronger or better. It really only makes everyone involved feel worse.

Sometimes people are afraid that if they are not a bully, someone else will bully them. Bullies are often being bullied in other ways by parents or siblings at home, by teachers or by others from their neighborhood and they become a bully to let out their hurt and anger.

What if I am a Bully?

Actually, there are a lot of kids who act as a bully at some point in their life. Usually, this is because there is something that is making them feel bad. We might think that if we are really strong and push people around, it will make us feel better. This is NEVER OK, and pushing people around will only make you and others feel worse. Bullies are not bad people, but they are doing bad things and need help. If you have been a bully, talk to an adult you trust. You might be scared to tell a grown-up that you have been a bully, but most adults will understand and help you figure out a plan to feel better and/or deal with whatever is making you feel bad. If you are not sure whom to trust, see your school’s counselor, principal, nurse or assistant principal. They are often people in school who not only care, but will have specific ideas about how best to deal with these kinds of situations.

Make a list of the top three reasons students are bullied at your school. Share some of the most common reasons as a class, and discuss what students can do to protect each other from bullying. Include ways adults could help as well.

Read the comics in your newspaper and find instances of bullying. Pick one and make a list of the characters and whether they are a bully, a victim or a bystander. Why is the bully character being a bully? What is the victim’s response?

Coming soon on this Newspapers in Education blog: What YOU Can Do to Stop Bullying.